Thursday, June 11, 2020


My family and I had gotten into a semi-normal routine.  Hospital during morning hours until after doctors rounded, back to the Ronald McDonald house for playtime and nap with Caleb, dinner, then we would go back to the hospital to say goodnight and pray over Isaiah.  This particular day was no different.

We had just finished dinner and drove over to the hospital to say goodnight to Isaiah.  We walked into his hospital room smiling and talking, and within moments of us arriving, every machine in his room began beeping.  His oxygen levels were fading.  The nurse came in trying everything she knew to help, yet all she did was to no avail.  My heart began racing, palms sweaty, and knees wobbly as I heard the words Code Blue.  I could not panic because I was holding our older son Caleb in my arms.  Within seconds, the room was filled with doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists, and techs.

I walked out into the hall with Caleb because I could not watch.  It was like watching really scary moments in  a movie where you cover your eyes because you don’t think you can handle seeing it, but you peek through your fingers every once in while only to cringe or scream.  I was pacing back and forth and praying, loudly might I add.  My eyes were going back and forth from the attending doctor’s face and my husband’s calm stature in the room.  My husband stood with such calm and confidence.  Our baby was flat lining, yet my husband remained calm.  And somehow his stature, helped me in keeping my composure instead of  falling apart at the seams.

I will never forget that moment.  I was completely full of faith and fear all at the same time.  This was a real-life encounter with the prayer in Mark 9: 24: Lord I believe, help my unbelief!  I was full of faith while “shaking in my boots.”  As I was pacing in the hall; I still heard the beeps, I saw the look of concern on the doctors’ faces, I saw my husband’s calm demeanor, and I saw my son who I held in my arms while praying and pacing.  So many thoughts were running through my head:  Lord Isaiah cannot die, I can’t handle it, Caleb cannot be traumatized by watching his little brother die, his death will not bring you glory.  And verbally my prayer was, God, I know you did not bring him this far to let him die now. God you are all powerful and you will complete this miracle!

Finally, after taking an X ray and reviewing it, the problem had been spotted.  Isaiah’s breathing tube had slipped out of place, so therefore, it was not doing its job.  The doctors said he had been breathing on his own, and because he was not fully ready for that, he became overworked and tired.  They replaced the tube with a new one and the beeping stopped.  I was able to let out a huge sigh of relief.  It seemed as if that code blue lasted for an awfully long time, but in actuality from the time of them calling a code blue to them replacing his tube, was only about seven minutes or so.

Fast forward to date.  That same little baby who was laying in that incubator fragile, extremely sick, and flat lining, is the same little one year old who is full of joy, energy, and life.  I watch him tackle challenges head on every day.  He is a living and breathing testimony for his doctors, therapists, me, and I’m sure many others.

As I ponder about that code blue, I began to think of the dreams and aspirations that I thought were dead.  Just thinking about that day gives me hope and proves that God’s promises never fail.  No matter how lifeless your dream may seem, God can turn it around with your cooperation and honesty.  Be honest with Him about your fear while believing that He is able to do exceedingly and above all we ask or think. 

Isaiah is living proof that a code blue is not a death sentence.  Now is the time to dust off those dreams, goals, and aspirations and watch God honor His promises.  This is the reason why I write, in hopes of encouraging someone that God is with them and there is always a reason to move forward. As you read this, I pray that the very power of the Resurrection of Christ be endowed upon you and your God given gifts and talents.  May the God of the whole universe be made known to you in a more personal and relevant way during this season of your life.

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My family and I had gotten into a semi-normal routine.   Hospital during morning hours until after doctors rounded, back to the Ronald Mc...